The Twelve Days of Christmas

By regular correspondent and poet M.B. of Grimsby from Janus 58

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
A paddling on my little derriere.

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
Two smarting cheeks,
And a paddling on my little derriere.

On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
Three tearful tannings,
Two smarting cheeks,
And a paddling on my little derriere.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
Four blushing bums,
Three tearful tannings,
Two smarting cheeks,
And a paddling on my little derriere.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
Five burning bots,
Four blushing bums,
Three tearful tannings,
Two smarting cheeks,
And a paddling on my little derriere.

On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
Six stripes a-sizzling,
Five burning bots,
Four blushing bums,
Three tearful tannings,
Two smarting cheeks,
And a paddling on my little derriere.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
Seven straps a-strapping,
Six stripes a-sizzling,
Five burning bots,
Four blushing bums,
Three tearful tannings,
Two smarting cheeks,
And a paddling on my little derriere.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
Eight smacks a-smacking,
Seven straps a-strapping,
Six stripes a-sizzling,
Five burning bots,
Four blushing bums,
Three tearful tannings,
Two smarting cheeks,
And a paddling on my little derriere.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
Nine slappings scarlet,
Eight smacks a-smacking,
Seven straps a-strapping,
Six stripes a-sizzling,
Five burning bots,
Four blushing bums,
Three tearful tannings,
Two smarting cheeks,
And a paddling on my little derriere.

On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
Ten tawsings tingling,
Nine slappings scarlet,
Eight smacks a-smacking,
Seven straps a-strapping,
Six stripes a-sizzling,
Five burning bots,
Four blushing bums,
Three tearful tannings,
Two smarting cheeks,
And a paddling on my little derriere.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
Eleven spankings sound,
Ten tawsings tingling,
Nine slappings scarlet,
Eight smacks a-smacking,
Seven straps a-strapping,
Six stripes a-sizzling,
Five burning bots,
Four blushing bums,
Three tearful tannings,
Two smarting cheeks,
And a paddling on my little derriere.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
Twelve strokes a-stinging,
Eleven spankings sound,
Ten tawsings tingling,
Nine slappings scarlet,
Eight smacks a-smacking,
Seven straps a-strapping,
Six stripes a-sizzling,
Five burning bots,
Four blushing bums,
Three tearful tannings,
Two smarting cheeks,
And a paddling on my little derriere.

Happy Christmas!