Secret Lives — Natalie

Photo interview by Roy Tersley from Janus 157 / Februs 37 with Natalie, also sometimes known as Andrea Spinks, Nadia or Pixie.

Natalie, can you tell me a little about yourself?

I am 21 years old, just about to finish my degree, at South East London University. The past three years have gone past very quickly and I have over that time changed considerably. My first week at University I spent in my bedroom as I was scared and too shy to venture out. Also, I didn’t really like the look of the people around me, so I thought I would stay in my bedroom. Since then I have met a tremendously large number of people, done a lot of new things and changed a lot.

Are you in a relationship at the moment?

No. I started university in a four year relationship that lasted midway into my second year. It’s over now. I have had a boyfriend since and had experiences with guys and girls since I have been at university but I currently don’t have a girlfriend or boyfriend.

As you know, the purpose of this interview is to hear about your spanking experiences. Can you tell me when you were first spanked?

I was spanked as a child, into my early teens. If I was naughty it was usually my mother who administered the punishment. She used her hand or a wooden spoon that used to be kept in the kitchen. She used to threaten me with the spoon sometimes, twirling it around and saying that it was revving up when my sister and I were playing up. My father used to spank us both with a slipper and occasionally my mum would also use a bamboo cane from the garden. These were treated as a normal part of life. The last time I was spanked at home I was probably 13 or 14 years old. The next time I was spanked was when I visited a club in London called Submission.

How old were you then?

I am not sure. I must have been 18 or 19.

What is this club like?

It’s a fetish club. I went there with a guy I met on holiday. I met two guys on holiday in Ibiza and we kept in touch when we got home. I went out with these two guys and one of their girlfriends and went to Submission. It was one of the first places I went to where I started to see a different side of London and people.

You obviously knew where you were going and what sort of club it was. Did you have to buy any clothes?

I did make an effort. They say you can’t get in unless you do make an effort though there were a few guys wearing just black shirts and trousers which was a bit of a shame. I was wearing a long rubberised skirt that was ankle length — a kind of 50’s style. It was straight with a zip going all the way one side. It was quite an old-fashioned and conservative design but in a very raunchy fabric. I had just feathers on and gold cord tied around my top half. I also wore a black wig that was straight out of Pulp Fiction.

Did you go along knowing what to expect?

I really went along out of curiosity. The girl with us was very much into the fetish scene and was very keen to take me there. My eyes were well and truly opened. There was nothing there that was shocking and I wasn’t shocked, although there were things going on that I hadn’t seen before. Overall, it was all very new and exciting. I suppose a lot of what was going on would be considered inappropriate in most circles but was fine and considered the norm inside the club. I think this is what I really liked about it.

What happened during your visit to the club?

Well, the guy I was with was getting on my nerves. He tried to come on to me although I had made it very clear that I wasn’t interested. I sat down on the stage and the girl with us, Angela, who was extremely beautiful, was dancing behind me. She saw me sitting on my own and came over and knelt down beside me asking what was wrong. I said that I had had enough of men and the guy I was with was really starting to bother me. She said, ‘Well, why don’t you try being with a woman then.’ She then stood up in front of me and we kissed. The two guys we were with saw this happening and got into a bit of a mood. I explained to my guy what the situation was and he said, ‘Why don’t you try a few more new things tonight?’ He then just put me across his knee and spanked me. It wasn’t very hard but I certainly felt it. It was hard enough to worry me a little bit. It was hard enough to get me excited.

Did he lift your skirt up?

No. I think he was trying to be polite.

So, that was your first adult spanking. How did you feel about that? What were your feelings?

I generally liked the night very much. I haven’t seen the guy since but I have bumped into the girl at an Erotica exhibition. It was such an exciting night. I had never been to anywhere like that before. I liked the fact that anything can happen and that no one would look on you disparagingly and you could feel totally relaxed in asking a total stranger to do something you wanted them to do or for them to do something to you and any declining of an offer from either side wasn’t a rejection but just not what that person was into. It was really a friendly and re-assuring environment.

Did you actively pursue the idea of spanking?

No. I really didn’t know how to approach anything like that. A lot of the people at Submission knew exactly what they were into and what they were about. But I felt a bit lost. I didn’t want to get myself into something that I wouldn’t like and I didn’t keep in touch with the people I went with.

When was the next time you were spanked?

I got an offer of a modelling job. I didn’t know exactly what it was when I first agreed but it turned out to be a photo shoot for a spanking magazine called Janus. I turned up for the shoot with another girl and everybody I met that day were really interesting people.

Did you know what to expect?

Yes, I did. The Agency had shown me a copy of the magazine, both Janus and Februs actually.

Tell me about this shoot.

I met the other girl at this great house where the shoot was to take place. She was a lovely girl but probably more apprehensive than me. There was a woman there called Hilary who allayed any fears that we had. It was, in fact, her who spanked the both of us in the photo shoot.

Did you find it exciting that you were portraying being spanked by a woman?

I didn’t find it a turn on or anything. I felt that I needed to act professionally for the photo shoot and as it was a new situation I wanted to deal with the situation and then figure out whether I liked it or not.

Did you like it?

Well, yes, I did actually. I did feel decidedly mischievous. There was a story line and we each had a character to play and we all got into it. It was exciting and in fact took away any feelings of embarrassment we may have felt because it wasn’t us doing this, it was the characters.

What were the characters you were playing?

We were two naughty girls who had been sent to see Hilary because she had a reputation of being a strict disciplinarian and if there were any girls playing up she was the woman to sort them out.

What were you wearing?

I was wearing a short, grey skirt, a pair of trainers and a green shirt with a black tie. The other girl looked very cute, very young, I think her name was Tara. I haven’t seen her since. I don’t really know if she was into it or not. Although she was more nervous than I, she certainly seemed to enjoy the shoot as much, who knows, maybe she is being spanked right now. I also remember that I had to wear a pair of knickers provided by the person organising the shoot because the ones I had with me were ‘not appropriate’ because they didn’t cover enough of my bottom. At the time I thought this was ridiculous as, I thought, if a bottom was to be spanked then the least protection the better — for the giver that is.

How was the day?

It was good. I very much enjoyed it. As I mentioned earlier, we all entered into the spirit of it. In fact, I felt that I had been in a kind of time warp. I had gone into this old-fashioned house with people I hadn’t met before who all took on new roles and identities. And then we came out of the house and everything was back to normal. I felt as though I would have liked to explore the subject a bit further but I really didn’t know how to. I didn’t know where to go, who to talk to or what avenues to take.

So you were interested but didn’t know how to pursue this newly found interest in spanking.

Yes, that’s right. There are lots of things I want to explore. People ask me what I am into and I can honestly say that I don’t really know. Most of the time when I have tried something new I have really enjoyed it.

I won’t dwell on the photo shoot itself as I am sure the readers can judge for themselves its success. It appeared in Janus 131 [actually Janus 132 — Disciplinary Measures]. What happened next?

Well, a few months passed and then I got another phone call from Janus saying they liked the pictures and asking if I would do another shoot. I must admit I felt rather flattered that they liked the pictures and I was pleased, and was really looking forward to doing it again.

What did this shoot involve?

Well, firstly, it was shot in Brighton. I was a cleaner who had been caught skiving and therefore needed to be disciplined. This time it was a guy dishing out the punishment.

Did you feel any differently that it was a guy rather than a girl dishing it out?

I think I probably enjoyed it more. The guy was more firm, there was meaning in the spanking being issued. I certainly felt the spanking I was given. I ended up with a red bottom and hand marks.

Has this photo shoot been published yet?

Yes, it has. I think it was in edition 134. [Actually Janus 133 — Everyone Wants to Smack My Bottom]

This brings us to today. A big day for you. Appearing in your first spanking video [New Uniform Discipline 1].

Yes. I met the guy who was going to spank me, which was a strange experience. Knowing that you are staring at your executioner. I suppose it wasn’t too bad. Although I didn’t fancy him — he was younger than I had imagined. We went to the location and I was presented with a schoolgirl uniform to put on. Everybody, including myself, was surprised at how young I looked in it. Before we started the video they got out the paddles and canes and things. I slapped them against my hand and thigh to see how much they would hurt. I made the choice of the ones I thought would hurt me the least. These were a black paddle and a black whip-type-thing, with lots of tails on the end of it.

You had a script or a story line?

We had a vague story line to follow. This was that I was to play the part of a mischievous, naughty schoolgirl who had been skiving off from school producing a doctor’s note saying that I was unwell.

Did you get into the part the same way as you did in the photo shoot?

Absolutely. Immediately I put the uniform on I felt immersed in the role and immediately imagined and felt part of the whole scenario. Also, the guy who was going to punish me was wearing an officious looking white coat and I had to refer to him as Doctor Stimpson. It would have been quite hard not to get into role.

Then the action started?

I was put across his knee and found myself being told off for being naughty. He told me that my mother had contacted him and that she felt there was a problem and that I needed firm discipline.

How were you feeling at this time?

I was scared. I was wriggling around and giggling. I don’t know why, it was probably nerves. The spanking started. He lifted up my gymslip and started spanking over my knickers. I felt a mixture of emotions — excitement, nervousness and pain. I was trying to wriggle off his lap but also wasn’t that upset by the fact that I couldn’t. He was holding me very firmly across his lap. It was a really hard spanking. I can’t remember being spanked that hard by my mother, I am sure she wouldn’t have done. After he had been spanking me for some time he pulled my knickers down to my knees. At this time I thought that this was humiliating, but also quite exciting and increasingly more sexual as obviously my clothes were starting to come off. At the same time I was also worried as I knew it was going to hurt more — which it did. I remember that I kept trying to look around to see what was going on and to see what damage was being done. But he kept holding me down so my efforts were in vain. I did manage a glance at my bottom and noticed it was very red and coming out in blotches, which was quite worrying. Every time I tried to look around he just pushed me back down. I remember feeling that whatever I tried to do he was much stronger than me and I couldn’t do what I wanted to do. This was an unusual experience for me — a total abdication of power. It was completely voluntary in one way but not in another. I wasn’t there under duress, but I was trying to get away from the pain and the spanking but I couldn’t.

After a time this part of your punishment stopped?

Yes. At this time I felt relief until I noticed him picking up the black paddle. He then told me to stand up, take off my clothes and stand in front of him. He was telling me to do something that was unusual, embarrassing and humiliating, but there was still that underlying excitement and apprehension there. Being in character sort of added to that feeling. Being in this role-play meant that I wanted to stay there and see it out so I took all my clothes off. At no time did I feel uncomfortable with the situation. He then told to me to go across his knee again and he then spanked me with the black, leather, oval-shaped paddle. I don’t know how many strokes he gave me but he must have paddled me non-stop for about nine or ten minutes. He was doing it on alternate cheeks with me trying to move out of the way. He kept telling me to keep still or it would hurt more but I really couldn’t keep still. I instinctively had to try to avoid this nasty black paddle hurting my bottom any more. It was a reflex reaction, it was hurting and I was trying to get away. He stopped suddenly and then reverted to using his hand again. Then after some more hand spanking he started to use the whip. I found this lighter. It didn’t sting so much and in fact I found myself starting to enjoy it. He noticed that lot of marks and blotches were coming up so he got out some cream and started to rub this into my bottom. This was physically very soothing and very erotic. I felt it was almost worth the spanking to experience the sensation of the lotion being rubbed in. He did this for a while and then to my horror he started spanking me again. He then rubbed in more lotion and told me off again for being a naughty girl and he hoped he had cured me of my mischievous ways. I felt a feeling of relief that it was over, I had taken my punishment and I had seen it through to the end.

How do you feel now?

Sore, very sore. One side of my bottom is a lot more bruised but I am hoping it will go down quickly as I have a modelling job tomorrow. I also have a sense of achievement and I now have an ongoing interest in spanking. I think I would like to do another video; but only with the same people, whom I now trust. I also think I would be far more likely to try it in my private life. I like the ‘naughty feeling’ and being corrected and disciplined. I think I will be very naughty in future and see what happens. In fact, I spoke to a male friend earlier on today. I told him I was going down to Brighton for a spanking. He replied that I didn’t have to go all the way there for that… So, I shall see where that leads and find out if he feels comfortable with the situation.

What about this year. Any aspirations regarding spanking?

I know a couple of girls who I would love to take to a party or a shoot or something and introduce them to the concept of spanking. I feel I am still in the exploratory phase but feel more comfortable moving forward.

Thank you, Natalie, for the time to express your feelings and relate your experiences to date. I look forward to viewing the video.