The Uniform Series 3: Gina, Traffic Warden

From Janus 121, featuring glamour model Claudia Casali as Gina

Gina is twenty-two, but to use her own words, ‘going on forty-two’. This doesn’t mean that she feels old, it is just that she considers she has experienced more in her short time on this mortal coil than most.

Many of the lessons she learned were at the school of hard knocks. She’d recommend a similar education to everybody.

Before starting modelling (at the age of twenty-one) Gina flitted from one unskilled job to another; never earning quite enough money, never experiencing job satisfaction and unsure what direction her blossoming young life would take.

‘Unskilled jobs are the pits,’ she explained. ‘I was invariably overworked and badly underpaid and the only time I earned anything approaching decent money was when I was a waitress in one of London’s trendy eateries. The basic pay wasn’t too brilliant, but I made five times as much in tips! (It seemed that the prettiest waitresses received the best tips.) The only reason I left was because, although the majority of customers were great, those that weren’t treated me like dirt. Oddly enough, the genuinely rich customers weren’t a problem, it was all the jumped-up little prats with no money who were only eating in the place so that they could impress their so-called friends. Eventually, after tipping a bowl of gazpacho into the lap of one obnoxious chinless wonder, I left and became a traffic warden!’

A traffic warden? Good heavens — why? Was the girl a complete innocent?

‘No, not at all,’ Gina laughed. ‘I don’t really know what made me apply for the job. Maybe it was one of the few things left that I hadn’t done, or maybe it was the uniform — I’m not really sure. It certainly wasn’t the money!’

Perhaps it was a latent craving for ‘power’. Maybe, deep down, Gina wanted to get her own back for the rotten hand that the fates had dealt her. Isn’t that right, Gina?

‘Absolutely not,’ she said. ‘Well, not initially anyway, although you might be partially right because, after a few weeks, I found that I was unconsciously targeting trendy, chinless wonders and had effectively replaced that bowl of soup with a fistful of parking ticket! From there, I moved on to victimising the owners of 4-wheel drives, hot-hatches and anything I thought was remotely trendy. In the end though, my conscience got the better of me and I resigned. I suppose I felt guilty because about fifty percent of the tickets I had slapped on numerous windscreens were issued simply because I felt like it! It was not really my style, you know!’

Hers was the first case of traffic warden’s guilt we had ever heard. Of course, by now, that guilt has probably disappeared and the nastiness of the job itself receded into the dim recesses of Gina’s mind, probably filed under ‘bad experiences’. Isn’t that so?

‘No, no, no!’ she protested, a little too quickly. ‘I continually regret having remained in the job for as long as I did. I should have packed it in after a few weeks instead of staying for nearly a year.’

We have ways of absolving nubile young girls from the inhibiting shackles of guilt, Gina. Like all those unfortunate motorists who you awarded a ticket, there is a statutory price to pay. Naturally, the price is high but the settlement is full and final. Of course, if you’re not prepared to pay the price you will simply have to continue living with a conscience that had its chance to atone, but lacked the strength of character to do so. Time for a decision.

‘Actually, I have never, ever been spanked, or anything like that,’ Gina said hesitantly. ‘It won’t hurt too much, will it?’

But that’s the whole point, Gina, it would not serve its purpose if it didn’t hurt. It is not a game. Receiving corporal punishment isn’t something where you have the luxury of choice. To properly absolve guilt, your chastisement should leave you with a balanced account. But in the end, the price must be high enough to be a fair exchange. There is no discount and your debit is paid direct. You will only have to suffer for your sins once. There will be no further instalments. There will be relief and satisfaction when you take the trouble to look at the ‘bottom line!’

Gina bit her lip. She thought about it. It took a full minute before she made her decision.

‘I… I suppose I’ve always been a bit curious,’ she started, her big eyes staring intently at her shoes. ‘Sort of… well, wondering what it would feel like to be… er, spanked…’

Wondering will not remove your guilt, Gina.

‘All right then. I suppose I’ll never know, unless I…’ Her laugh was nervous. ‘Unless I actually try it!’

Now you are seeing sense, young lady. You have taken the first step towards liberation and emotional freedom. This is your second chance — something the majority of traffic wardens are not lucky enough to be offered.

Now, do you still have that uniform?