Tara’s Secret Life

Interview with Tara Duncan by Roy Tersley published in both Februs 41 & Janus 156. A sequel to Disciplinary Measures in Janus 132, A Punishing Experience in Janus 139 and Short Sharp Shock in Janus 155.

Thank you for coming to see us Miss Duncan. Where are you from?

I am originally from Bournemouth. I now live in London with my boyfriend.

Where did you go to school?

A comprehensive in Bournemouth.

What sort of a pupil were you?

Fairly good. Not quite a swat but I was fairly rebellious in secret and lucky enough never to get caught out bunking off.

Occupation?

I am an actress and I have done a little bit of modelling as you know for Janus magazine. But my main occupation is as an actress.

So, tell me about your first shoot for Janus.

Well, I was dressed as a naughty schoolgirl type, who got severely punished by Hilary Hanbury-Boyce. She was a very strict woman. My friend, Natalie, and I were unfortunate enough to get on her bad side and we got a good thrashing. That was my first experience of being spanked.

What was your impression of the experience?

Well… I was a bit nervous before the shoot, you know, I had never experienced anything like it before. But I ended up quite enjoying it. The actual punishment wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. She was surprisingly soft with us, I suppose.

Did you find it exciting?

Yes I did find it quite exciting. Especially watching each other get spanked. I couldn’t really take my eyes off what was happening to Natalie. I did find the whole thing very intriguing.

Was all this done with your boyfriend’s approval?

I didn’t actually tell him what I was going to be doing but after the shoot I told him and I think he was interested by it. Because he is a lot older than me he received canings at school and I think he thinks I missed out on an important part of my education.

So, have you practised any CP at home with your boyfriend?

Well that’s the problem. Since that first shoot and since coming back again I have become very much more interested in it and I have asked by boyfriend several times to give me a good seeing to.

I assume you are referring to a spanking!

Oh, and the spanking as well. He has obliged but I think he is scared of hurting me. He is not quite sure. I have told him that I would scream if he does it too hard. But I am afraid he just holds back a bit too much. So I haven’t got to feel what it is really like.

So it hasn’t been particularly satisfactory for you?

Well, no it hasn’t. It has left me feeling all the more intrigued. It just hasn’t happened for me yet. I wasn’t spanked as a child. I have never experienced it at all. But I know people that are into it and I have seen them get a lot of enjoyment from it and I feel that I am badly missing out.

So was your second appearance in Janus a modelling job or was it to further investigate the subject?

Well, it was a bit of both really. The person spanking me was really into it and he was spanking me quite a lot harder than Hilary did. But still, because it was a shoot he wasn’t able to mark my bottom too much by spanking because we had the caning to do and this, I understand, requires a relatively pale bottom, so he only warmed me up, which was slightly disappointing! It was exciting nevertheless. Towards the end of the shoot I received a couple of quite hard cane strokes but I felt that I could have taken a lot more.

Is it the ritual of the subject that appeals to you or the physical punishment?

I think the physical side is a big part of it, but it is the psychological aspect that appeals to me, of having no choice, and being really dominated. Because I suppose at home with my boyfriend I feel I am the dominant partner and the part of not having the choice of the control over the situation is a real turn on for me. This doesn’t happen at home, because at the end of the day what I say goes. I think there is something I am missing out on.

Now a slightly more probing question; have you ever fantasised about this subject whilst having sex with your boyfriend?

I have occasionally, I have to admit. I don’t know what he’ll think when he reads this. Yes, sometimes I have thought about it to get me in the. mood. I do like to imagine I am a schoolgirl and being spanked on my bare bottom in front of an audience.

How do you see your interest in the subject developing if your boyfriend is not particularly interested?

Well, I am sure there are many people happy to oblige!

I am sure there are many Februs readers who would be only too happy to oblige!

I hope so because I keep asking him and perhaps eventually he will come round but in the meantime I think I am going to have to get it from somewhere else which is why I am here today. I think I would like to receive corporal punishment at the hands of a professional, so to speak! And take it from there.

Now, Tara, we have been over this on the telephone and you have expressed your wish to act out your fantasy here today. What is your particular fantasy situation?

I would like to dress in an office suit. Quite conservatively and look like butter wouldn’t melt in my mouth. I like an efficient look. I think dress is quite important in playing out a fantasy, I always think it helps when I am acting a part. I like the thought of giving the impression that I am very innocent but really, underneath, I am not all that naive. That’s a sort of deception I suppose and it makes me feel naughty having pulled the wool over someone’s eyes — in particular my superior. I also love to wear stockings. These can be concealed but I can touch them through my skirt or under my dress just to remind me how naughty I am really. At my acting classes we do a lot of role play and acting out scenarios and you have to really get into the part. So today I would like to imagine that I am a PA to an important director and I have made a terrible mistake and I have to face the choice of a severe caning or the sack — and that really isn’t any choice at all because I need the job.

Are you sure you want to go ahead with this?

Yes, I’m absolutely sure, no doubt about it. Of course I am apprehensive about the pain, as anybody would be. But I have to try it. I am nervous, of course, but that’s all part of it, that’s the thrill.

Do you have a favourite instrument?

As I am not experienced I’ll have to take a chance. I liked the look of the paddle used in the first shoot with Hilary. But also I liked the feel of a naked hand on my bare bottom; that really does it for me.

Is it important whether it is a man or a woman administering the punishment?

No, I don’t think so, they just have to be a dominant person and I must feel as if they are overpowering me. I am heterosexual, but I don’t think gender is important here.

Describe how you envisage being punished.

I hear it’s nice to have your bottom warmed up with a hand spanking as this helps overcome the pain as your skin gets warm. And, being a novice, I would like to be broken in gently. Perhaps that way it will help make me take more of a punishment. I also want to savour the spanking as I already know I like it. And during this I will try to psych myself up for what’s to come. I hear that the cane is the ultimate, so I think I would like to have my bottom paddled after the spanking. I expect my bottom to be pretty hot and red by this point. I expect to be told to strip completely before my caning. I suppose I will get the final lecture at this point and I will look remorsefully at my feet. I remember how the cane stings, it took my breath away. This is the bit I am both dreading and looking forward to. I want to get through it and I expect I will get a buzz from doing so.

I have noticed that you are visibly trembling now.

Well, yes, I have realised that we have been talking for some time and we must be getting closer to the moment now, are we?

Yes, we are. Now we will retire to the punishment room which has been specially prepared for your visit. Come with me and we’ll show you what you should have got for your occasional bunking.

I am going to enjoy the acting, but as you know I have only modelled a couple of times and I am not all that used to taking my clothes off in front of people.

Well you do realise that a certain amount of nudity is necessary.

Yes, I quite understand.

At this point Tara and I retired to the bedroom. Before the command had been uttered she began to undress. She stripped down to bra and knickers also retaining her favoured stockings and laid face down on the bed. I placed two pillows under her hips. Following her wishes I commenced the spanking with my bare hand. Her choice of underwear affording her little protection. She writhed and giggled at first but then I detected a more serious note as she concentrated on the sensations. Her bottom was now warming and Tara indicated that she would like to feel the soft leather whip. The strands of leather are very light but when used briskly produce a very real sting. Without prompting, Tara began to confess to past sins. Schoolgirl shoplifting exploits, the conspiring to steal her best friend’s boyfriend, barely legal sexual activity. This was a girl who wanted a caning, but — more importantly — needed one! Stopping only briefly to capture these events on film, the atmosphere was heady indeed. The idea of a caning whilst bent over a punishment trestle had interested Tara. The concept of a ‘judicial’ caning appealed. I selected a thin leather-bound cane and administered eight strokes. She took the caning well and I left her alone to stand facing a wall for ten minutes. She got herself dressed and joined me in the interview room.

So Tara, how was it for you?

I have to say that I enjoyed it as much as I thought I was going to. Although the cane really did hurt. I think it should only be used for serious misbehaviour! I was a bit shy at first but I succeeded in convincing myself that I really had to go through with the punishment and that is what really gets me going. Since first speaking to you on the telephone I have had a lot of time to think about this and I have lots of other fantasies I would like to explore. I like the idea of laying across a man’s knee while he tells me off and pulls down my knickers. I love that helpless feeling, knowing that he is looking at my bare bottom. I was rather hoping you were going to do that Mr Tersley!

Perhaps next time!

I really enjoy the moment when your bottom starts to warm and the stinging slowly turns into a kind of hot pleasure. I can’t think of another way to describe it. By the time you were stroking my bottom with that cane I have to say I was getting very horny. I know my boyfriend will understand when he reads this, but it was nice to be punished by someone who obviously has a lot of experience. I love the way you ordered me around. As I said earlier, the thing for me is the psychological aspect. Today gave me more pleasure in my head than in my bottom!

Thank you for coming to see me today Miss Duncan.

My pleasure entirely.