Secret Lives — Joanne

A Roy Tersley interview from Februs 38

Jo, could you tell us something about your life?

My name is Joanne; I am 30 years old, I have a daughter who is 2 and she’s beautiful. I live on my own but I have a recent boyfriend who is very understanding. He is intrigued by the fact that I like to be spanked and ‘the scene’, but he is not personally into it. He is happy to spank me but is too frightened, for example, to use a cane on me.

What first interested you about spanking and what were your first experiences?

It came about a few years ago when I was with my child’s father. He was very much into bondage. He liked to tie me up but I wasn’t at all keen on this, but let him as I was very much in love with him. I just didn’t like being out of control. He used to sometimes spank me in this situation. It was never hard, just playful slaps really, but hard enough to tingle and redden my bottom. It was a bit of a play around and a bit of spank. I didn’t know anything about CP or anything like that. However, I found that even though I didn’t like the tying up bit, I found the spanking a turn on. I really quite enjoyed having my bottom slapped. I found it sexually stimulating and arousing. As time moved on, and I think as he noticed me being more turned on by the spanking, then the spanking became a bigger part of the role play. He very much enjoyed the role play: the being in charge and being domineering and wanting me to abide by whatever he said.

Did you use any special costumes in your role playing?

Well, there was never any dressing up as a naughty nurse or schoolgirl or anything like that. He liked me to wear stockings and a suspender belt. I liked that too. His favourite was for me to wear a basque with black underwear and black stockings.

What was the next milestone?

Well, I had split with my partner. This was a very traumatic time for me. Things were so bad that I went into a hostel. When we split I literally had nothing. Staying in the same hostel was a girl, Jane, whom I had known for some time. I was very lonely. I can remember crying a lot and feeling desperate. Anyway, one evening Jane came into my room and we were chatting. She was really trying hard to cheer me up. She asked me if I wanted to go to a party with her. I really wasn’t in any sort of party mood. Anyway, she carried on and told me it was a spanking party. She told me that it was a party where the girls got spanked and paddled and caned.

How did you respond?

I said no. I said that this wasn’t my scene. I didn’t like the thought of being spanked, paddled or caned and I certainly felt that I was too shy and nervous. I could never be spanked in front of a lot of other people — looking back I suppose I was curious. I found myself thinking about it a lot of the time. I think I found it intriguing.

So she went to the party without you?

Yes she did.

And then what?

Well, I mentioned this to one of the other girls who said I had made the right decision. She said that had I gone I would have been severely punished and would have been marked for a very long time. So at this stage I felt I had made the right decision.

What was it that changed your view?

Well, the funny thing was that Jane and I spoke about the party constantly over the next couple of weeks. I suppose I was trying to understand what it was all about. I obviously was very curious. She explained that there were about 7 blokes and 3 girls. Jane kept saying that it was a laugh, it was fun and that she honestly enjoyed herself. On the first day back she showed me her bottom and it did look badly marked. I could even see the individual lines of cane strokes. I looked at this and thought that wasn’t a spanking, that was a beating. So at this stage I thought that the advice the other girl had given me was extremely good. But there was something inside me still wanting to know more. I was very persistent. Jane was aware of this, and probably getting a bit tired of answering the same questions all the time. You have to remember that I had never received a paddling or the cane so when Jane was saying things like ‘I got 12 stokes of the belt followed by 6 strokes of the cane’ I was thinking that I could never take that.

However, I suppose I was asking Jane for help. I was saying to her ‘help me here. I am interested but I am also very nervous.’ I didn’t want to go into a room and be spanked in front of lots of people that I didn’t know and I didn’t want to receive a lot of pain that I couldn’t handle. In a way, maybe I was thinking back to when my boyfriend tied me and how I hated not being in control of the situation.

What was Jane’s reaction?

Well, Jane had in fact backed off a bit. It was me actually, knocking on her door saying that I would like to give it a try. Jane was fantastic. I think she really understood how I was feeling. So, she suggested that I went with her to meet someone that she knew very well who had a friend who was also into spanking. It was a ‘2 on 2’ as I became aware later — 2 blokes and 2 girls.

Were you happy with this?

Yes I was. Firstly, I trusted Jane and secondly, I felt that I needed to start doing things to build up my own self-confidence. I suppose I now felt in control as I had instigated this. I had approached Jane and she was facilitating me.

So you had now committed?

Yes, very much so. Jane telephoned the man she knew and said she had a friend who was wishing to be introduced into the ‘the scene’. Needless to say he leapt at the opportunity. I now realise that it is every bloke’s dream, who is into spanking, to have a ‘virgin’ bottom at their disposal.

All arranged, then, you met up?

Yes we did. I was very nervous. Jane and I drank a couple of pints of lager before meeting. But to start with it was lovely. It was tremendous. Jane’s friend (who I am still very friendly with) was very considerate. I sort of knew what was going to happen. I had dressed up. In fact I had put my basque on with black stockings etc. He put me across his knee and started by spanking me lightly, which I really enjoyed, then he started to strap me with a belt. I think he gave me about 12 reasonably hard stokes which I found perfectly OK, even when he lowered my knickers, and he finished by giving me six light stokes of the cane. We then had some wine and joined back up with Jane and her partner who had been engaged in similar activities in a different room.

How were you feeling?

I was really enjoying myself. It was all very friendly and I felt my confidence growing by the minute. It was the first time I had ever taken my clothes off in the light and in front of a total stranger. Can you believe that? But then it started to go very wrong.

That sounds ominous.

Yes it was. I then went with the other chap. He gave me a very hard spanking, strapping and caning that left me tremendously bruised. I mean very bruised. I had great difficulty moving the next day. I suppose I endured it because it was my first time and I didn’t know what was expected of me. I can assure you that now I know what reasonable limits are and would never ever let that happen to me again. Jane was also very heavily marked and very apologetic to me, knowing it was my first time.

Neither of us have seen that person since.

Surely then, that must have been most off-putting for you?

Yes it was, but Jane kept reassuring me that this doesn’t happen often — in fact very rarely. I also remembered how enjoyable the first part had been. I can’t fully explain how great I felt. I had taken my clothes off and gained confidence in my body and how I looked. It was great, and to cap it all I had received a most enjoyable spanking from a complete stranger.

What was the next landmark?

The next step I took was that I had to find out whether I could handle going to one of the parties that Jane had first mentioned. So I arranged to go down to London with Jane and see what it was like. I went along purely as a spectator, no strings, and no commitment, just to observe. It was lovely. There must have been about a dozen gentlemen and they were all great. Just normal, funny, friendly people who made me feel very comfortable and the girls were great too. In fact I did have a bit of a spanking there from the guy running the party on the pretext that I had to experience what it was like. He called it his little perk. Anyway, I enjoyed it and felt comfortable so when I received a call a few days later I agreed to go to a party on the basis that it would be within the limits that I was comfortable with.

So, you have come a long way. You are now in the party scene.

Yes I suppose so, all voluntarily though and generally great fun.

Talking of fun, what has been your funniest experience?

I met this guy who came along with a whole range of scripts. I had to go out in my schoolgirl uniform and then knock on the door and stand in front of him and read out word for word what I had done and how naughty I had been. The funny thing was that he didn’t even want to spank me for my naughtiness. He must have had a briefcase full of scripts. He did eventually give me a little spanking but it was more like a few gentle taps. He just loved the role. I found it difficult to keep a straight face.

What has been the longest or hardest spanking you have had?

The hardest I have already mentioned. The first time I did it with Jane. The longest was when I received fifteen hundred strokes with a Martinet.

Fifteen hundred! You must be joking?

No, honestly, it was that many. They weren’t that gentle either but the leather strands were well worn and very soft. I am not particularly keen on the cane but I can take an enormous amount of spanking, paddling and whipping with something like the martinet. He split it into 50’s and 100’s which was fine. I always had a target to work toward. I really enjoyed it. I suppose now I like a bit of a challenge to see what I really can take and move the boundaries just that little bit further out.

Can I now delve a little bit more into your feelings and emotions? How do you feel before a spanking.

I always feel very nervous. I think it is because you never know what to expect. You never know how hard a spanking you are going to get. However, even though I know it is going to hurt it is a pleasurable hurt.

Can you explain that a bit more?

It’s a turn on. It’s the whole situation. It’s like going on your first date. It’s nerves, excitement. It’s a culmination. I prepare. I get myself ready. I have a long bath, I mentally ‘tune up’. I want to impress, I want to look good, I want to feel good and above all I want to be spanked but also I want the person who is spanking me to have a good time. I really do get turned on myself. Spanking is my favourite. I love the flesh to flesh aspect and the stinging. I like to feel my bottom going red and starting to glow I really enjoy it.

How do you respond in a role play situation.

Again, I like the person punishing me to have a good time and feel satisfied. So if they want me as a tennis player or a schoolgirl I will do my best to look and act the part.

What is your fantasy?

My fantasy is going into a big open space on a hot sunny day with nobody else about. I would be in a field or by a hedgerow with lots and lots of bracken and be able to do whatever I want in this huge field. I would like a little bit of fear that I may be caught. I think that being in the open with my knickers down and being loudly spanked so it would draw the attention of anyone passing is a very exciting prospect.

What is the most common fantasy expressed by men?

Without any doubt it is the schoolgirl fantasy. The naughty schoolgirl across the master’s knee. I personally prefer to look and feel sexy. I have a preference for dressing up in sexy underwear, stockings, suspenders and wearing a long evening dress. I do find myself walking around town looking at people and wondering if they like spanking. There was one occasion on a tube train in London when I was going to a spanking party but wasn’t sure where to get off so I asked a gentleman if he could advise me. He did, and I next saw him at the party. In fact, he gave me a particularly hard spanking for not knowing the way!

What is next for you?

Well, I don’t think there is half as much going on in the Midlands as there should be regarding spanking parties. But I now know there are at least four girls who live in my area and we are now getting our heads together to host our own parties. I have recently attended a couple of fetish parties which I enjoyed but weren’t really my scene so I do have a very clear idea as to the type of party I would like to run. Given my personal circumstances I very much want to carry on, building new friendships and enjoying myself, which is important. Some people may find the way I enjoy myself rather strange, but I find myself increasingly comfortable with it.

Thank you, Joanne, for sharing your experiences with me. I suggest we now take a trip out to the country and live out the fantasy you mentioned.